Author: Deb Christiansen

Self Nurturing

I had a moment, a split second in time, where I felt the arms of someone or something, perhaps my ancestors, embrace me. It was a profound feeling. In this particular lifetime, there has been an extreme lack of nurturing. When I turned one, my mother was in the hospital having the first of my five brothers. I was three and a half when she had a set of twins. Always the oldest, always the trail blazer.
When I was 43, my husband died leaving me to raise three girls alone. On my wedding day to my second husband, I said, “Now I have someone to take care of me.” And he replied, “I thought you were going to take care of me,” which is really more how things went.
I’m mostly calm and reserved on the outside. I’m known as a rock, so when the vision happened, in was like a gift. I need some nurturing, and if it doesn’t happen outside of myself, its best if I my higher self or ancestors to do it. It certainly is more convenient that way. However now that that box has been opened I’ve become more aware of how necessary this component is. First, I blamed myself. After all, I am a women, and that’s what we do first. Maybe I wasn’t accepting the nurturing that was being offered to me. Maybe I should listen more to my husband when he’s in the fathering/coaching mode. I tried for several hours, but the following day, my husband came down with a cold. Natures form of telling you that you need a rest. He does anyway. It’s probably better I’m not nurtured by him.i don’t think I live off of pizza, ribs, and beer.
Now here I sit in a car, reading my metaphysical literature, waiting while my husband shoots waterfalls in the rain. I close my eyes and imagine the embrace of my higher self or my ancestors. Nurturing. Self.